Women are breaking glass ceilings, confronting illegitimate power and leveling the playing field, but what about the men in our lives? Due to our generous bandwidth of emotional resiliency, not only do women seem to bounce back sooner from trauma and stress, we are also more open to various avenues of self-improvement. From women’s circles to therapy and the somatic arts, women are breaking out of the confines of their socially-conditioned roles, but what about men? Yes, nature is less rigid and more nuanced than the gender binary, and biology need not fuel essentialism. Gender neutrality and women’s empowerment need not default emasculate male-identified persons. As an older millennial that both identifies as queer and applauds the next generations’ adoption of ‘non-binary’ as a revolutionary language, at this stage in my life I’m looking for a bonafide man with heart, strength, sensitivity, integrity and shared values.
Randy Flood, Author of Mascupathy: Understanding and Healing the Malaise of American Manhood explains how while thought leaders in the field of men’s emotional and relational development have been making progress for years, they’re work is largely falling on deaf ears. Why? For one, because a lot of us are still married to the drama. In the news. In the DMs. In the workplace, church, the gym and in the sheets. Weighing in on this crucial and timely topic Flood writes, “Positive masculinity is how masculine energy—when consciously-calibrated, wisely-timed, and smartly-appropriated—is courageously life-giving, boldly empowering, and fiercely impactful to individual men and everyone else in their lives. Conversely, toxic masculinity is extreme, injurious, ill-timed, and poorly-appropriated.”
With ‘toxic masculinity’ seemingly our culture’s favorite buzzword and scapegoat, it’s no coincidence that the ‘Bad Boys’ of the media landscape tend to clog the airwaves. If the American Psychological Association’s 2019 Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men states that raising boys into ‘traditional’ masculinity is harmful to their health, we must truly be at a boiling point. Men haven’t been allowed to express their full humanity – and it’s hurting our families, communities and cultural expressions. BOYS DO CRY, as should brothers, boyfriends and fathers. As one of the body’s natural ways of releasing emotional stress – crying soothes, relieves pain, releases toxins, enhances mood, fights bacteria, improves sleep and vision. Let’s revive the nuanced male, because as Floods writes, “It’s perplexing how guys who love a garage full of specific tools for each unique repair often only have a two-pound hammer of anger in their emotional toolbox. To lead fulfilling lives, men require more tools.”
Conventional masculinity, stereotypes and dare I say #METOO aside, let’s celebrate the sacred masculines (metro men, metrosexuals, wounded warriors, if you prefer) in our circle this season with gifts that encourage them to access the full expression of their humanity. Read on for a practical holiday gift guide curated to inspire and encourage men to reconnect with their softness and sensitivity, wellness and wholeness, inner security and spiritual core.
ESSENTIALS FOR THE METRO MAN
Sound+Sleep Aquarius
A portable sleep machine and bluetooth speaker with aquatic sounds? Did someone say Superhero treatment? Not only does the Sound+Sleep Aquarius offer a selection of soothing water sounds to help promote sleep, relaxation, meditation and focus – it doubles as a Bluetooth speaker to stream through his device on command. Designed by a team of expert sleep, audio, electronics and software specialists, Sound of Sleep offers a variety of high quality machines designed to promote better sleep all year long. With thousands of reviews on Amazon, it’s the perfect gift to ensure that special man in your life is waking up every morning feeling refreshed and ready to go. Travel-friendly and great for all ages.
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Comfort Food Bundle
Whether or not you’re hankering to get your hands dirty in the kitchen this holiday season, every man in your life deserves to get his belly nourished with hearty, satisfying, good-for-you versions of his favorite comfort foods!
Daily Harvest meals arrive frozen to deliver the highest-quality nutrients and flavors from every fruit and vegetable. He’ll not only enjoy the at-your-fingertips ease of super-quick prep, but feast on a curated selection of ready-whenever meals and snacks! A most delicious and nourishing gift, Daily Harvest bowls, soups and ready-made smoothies taste indulgent, while feeling light and energizing. From Sweet Potato + Wild Rice Hash to Broccoli + White Beans soup, to Edamame + Wild Rice Green Curry to Tomato Basil + Portobello Bolognese! These all-day best sellers are gluten and dairy-free and made only with organic produce. In addition to the Comfort Food Bundle, Daily Harvest offers a Holiday Gift Bundle, Smoothie Bundle, Pasta Party and more. You’re also free to mix and match from their zesty list of bowls, grains, soups, flatbread, bites and pops.
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Boyfriend Bath Bomb
Never underestimate the power of a warm, healing bath. A good soak at the end of the day provides pain and stress relief, improved blood flow, better sleep and enhanced flexibility. Bonus if you ran the water for him and timed it perfectly with when he arrives home from work… throw in an oh-so manly bath bomb and he might as well be in heaven. The official Boyfriend Bath Bomb by Naples Soap Company is hydrating and soothing for skin with a woodsy, unisex scent. Simply drop the bomb into his bath, enhancing your beloved’s self-care experience with therapeutic epsom salt to soothe sore muscles and essential oils to calm an overstimulated nervous system. If it’s date night, throw in some Jasmine essential oil – the great aphrodisiac of the ancients. Absolutely NO BADDITIVES™ either! Naples Soap Company Bath Bombs are paraben, phthalate, sulfate, silicone and gluten free. Low-waste, vegan, hypoallergenic and made in the U.S.A.
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Whirly Board
Once he’s feeling fed, soothed and pampered – your divine masculine will be ready for action! Why not bestow upon his majesty the new all-ages board designed to improve agility, strengthen core muscles, create better posture and help prevent injury. Called the Whirly Board, it’s a skateboard-shaped balance board that spins 360°!
Whirly Board’s distinctive design outfits users with three independent balance points, allowing for various maneuvers and exercises. Unlike traditional balance boards on a separate two-dimensional roller, Whirly Board aficionados experience 360° movement. A great fitness tool for men young and old, they also use them in my son’s 2nd grade class as an aide to accommodate neurodivergent learning styles. Kinetic learners, for example, benefit from standing breaks on the balance board wherein they can bring their body’s mental and muscular intelligence into dynamic conversation.
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T-100 Elite Insoles
Ever walked a pair of loafers to pieces or worn out your new kicks in just a few weeks time? As New Yorkers we know that footwear matters – everything from quality, to design and comfortability. Whether your man has endured a foot injury, has foot sensitivity or simply gets around the urban jungle on foot all day every day – Protalus insoles are the most effective way to reduces excessive stress on the foot, ankle and lower extremities. Patented alignment technology and top tier durability affords efficient and symmetrical movement during walking while targeting the leading cause of most foot pain. By keeping the heel in a neutral position, the insoles distribute pressure properly throughout the knee and bring the hip into optimal position, moving stress and strain away from compensating muscles. Whether he’s walking to work, making a pilgrimage to a favorite foreign city or simply looking to distribute his forces evenly during weight-bearing activities, T-100 Elite Insoles are the wave! Backed by 80,000 verified 5-star customer ratings, they’re your man’s ticket to proper whole-body alignment and increased shock absorption up to 20%. With no uncomfortable break-in period, he’ll be feeling loved at first step.
Find it HERE
Botanical-based Bug Repellent
Anyone else notice the mosquitos in November this year? Whether your man is the ruggedly handsome outdoorsy type or simply sensitive to rapidly changing environmental conditions, he’s bound to benefit from the new Botanical-based Bug Repellent by Moon Rabbit Acupuncture. It doubles as an Eau de Parfum! Practically speaking, science has expressed concern around environmental toxicity caused by compounds in conventional bug spray. An increasing amount of evidence suggests that insect repellents may trigger undesirable hazardous interactions within biological systems with a potential to generate harmful effects, including potential side effects to users. Thankfully, founder of Moon Rabbit Acupuncture Gudrun Snyder has formulated a bug repellent unlike any other, created with elements of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Focused on generating a repellent that doubled as a unisex fragrance, the spicy formula attracts humans, not bugs! Enhanced with fir needle, grapefruit, lemon-eucalyptus, patchouli, sandalwood, jasmine, citronella, rose geranium, orange, vetiver, Bi Cheng Qie, organic jojoba, distilled water and witch hazel – it’s your non-toxic, all-in-one protective agent! This ‘Leaping Bunny Certified’ DEET-free functional repellant is perfect for hiking, camping or simply relaxing outdoors.
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NOVOS Core
While it may not make him the immortal soldier of his fantasies, a scientifically validated solution which tackles the twelve root causes of aging might just take your man’s health profile from mediocre to miraculous! That’s twelve longevity ingredients, 1 powerful mix. NOVOS Core by NOVOS affords cell rejuvenation and enhances microbiome function – with benefits you can feel including improved energy, skin, mood and cognition.
Formulated by top aging experts, the formulation’s success at the cellular level is backed by over 400+ clinical studies conducted at leading academic institutions like Harvard Medical School and MIT. The proprietary NOVOS Core longevity blend maximizes the power of Calcium, Magnesium, Glycine, Hyaluronic Acid, Vitamin C and Ginger among other key ingredients. With zero calorie count, the all-natural, vegan, and gluten-free Longevity Formulation is available in Orange or Unflavored. Science-backed and 3rd-Party Tested, in addition to slowing down the inevitable aging process, the supplement also increases your metro man’s overall energy levels.
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Loca Loka’s Liquid Gold
Envision only the finest, mature hand-picked agave hearts slow-cooked in brick ovens for several days to concoct the purest, most flavorful tequila your beloved has ever tasted. After stewing, the softened agave hearts are crushed, releasing their sweet nectar as they undergo a natural fermentation process converting sugars to alcohol. The fermented liquid is then double distilled to remove impurities while preserving the agave’s unique character. Having perfected the long maturation process key to achieving the smoothest and most nuanced flavor profile, Loca Loka is born.
A new tequila brand inspired by the vibrant cultures of India and Mexico – you’ll probably recognize the sweet and spicy notes common to the culinary traditions of each region! Launched to the U.S. market last summer, Loca Loka’s signature ‘low and slow’ process unlocks agave’s natural sweetness and complexity. A collaboration between Indian film star Rana Daggubati, renowned composer Anirudh Ravichander and entrepreneur Harsha Vadlamudi – the brand is crafting premium fusion spirits with global resonance.
In Mexico, where it’s long been hailed as the national drink, Tequila is imbued with centuries of indigenous tradition and resilience. Having been a mainstay of Mexican heritage and ritual for centuries, tequila traces its origin to the land’s fertile volcanic soils and the Aztecs peoples who began fermenting agave sap in a potent precursor to modern tequila. To this day traditional Mexican corridos (songs) are often sung accompanied by the drinking of tequila in honor of the sacrifices of brave ancestors which came before. Whether or not your man can hold a tune, might he be ready to quench his thirst on the Liquid Gold of all tequilas!? There’s only one way to find out…
Find it HERE
Cinnamon-Vanilla Sugar Cubes
And while he’s preparing the happy hour drinks, why not sprinkle a little festivity into your Metro Man’s cocktail bar? A little sugar helps the medicine go down, or so they say. With Storied Goods flavor infused Cinnamon-Vanilla Sugar Cubes, your holiday soiree just went from demure to dynamic!
Pop them into tea, coffee, mocktails, cocktails, sparking wine and more for a flavor burst of pure cane sugar enhanced with cinnamon, vanilla extract and clove. Artfully-designed and sustainably packaged, Storied Goods gourmet sugar cubes are made in New York, travel friendly and under $20. In addition to classic Cinnamon-Vanilla, Storied Goods flavor-infused sugar cubes also come in Orange-Cherry (take note, whiskey lovers!) Lemon-Lavender and Celebration Sparkle (made with edible glitter and rhubarb bitters). Because when your man needs a little creative inspiration to get the (cocktail) party started, a little sweetness goes a long way.
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BONUS: STOCKING STUFFERS!!
The Plantable Pencil
This one’s for the little man! Be he a son, neighbor, brother or nephew – SproutWorld Plantable Pencils are the gift that keeps giving. Did you know that between 50-60 million Christmas trees are cut down each year? Rather than cutting another living tree, SproutWorld encourages consumers to plant their tree in a pot and keep it for years. Containing seed capsules where you normally find an eraser, the 2024 Plantable Pencils holiday edition includes 8 plantable pencils with seasonally themed seeds for Spruce Tree, Cinnamon Basil, Eternity Wildflowers and Thyme.
When you plant the pencils with the capsule down and add water and sunlight, the pencil stub will start to grow a new life. The evergreen spruce, included in this year’s holiday edition, is typically used for Christmas trees, absorbing CO2 and giving off oxygen as it grows. Initially kept indoors as a decorative tree, once it grows into a real Christmas tree it can be replanted outside. Cinnamon Basil, an aromatic plant with long green leaves and purple flowers native to Mexico, is perfect for wintery dishes, spicing up any pantry. Eternity Wildflowers are beautiful when they bloom and afterwards, take on a second life as a decorative dried flower bouquet. Thyme, an herb common to Mediterranean cuisine, adds flavor to many a dish when not being used in soups and hot tea. The perfect stocking stuffer, Plantable Pencils also make a great edition to a gift basket. Because a stunning Christmas tree creates even more magic when you know that it comes from a single eco-friendly pencil generated by protected forests. By potting a Christmas tree instead of cutting one down, everyone does nature a favor. Which is why we encourage you to gift all the woke men in your life with this charming symbol of our sustainable future.
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Oven Roasted Turkey Sticks
This holiday season, give your divine masculine the gift of quality nutrition made simple. Vermont Smoke & Cure Oven Roasted Turkey Sticks taste right because they’re made right! That is, handcrafted in small batches and slow cooked over 18 hours, with absolutely no antibiotics, artificial colors, preservatives, flavors or added hormones. It’s not only an efficient, protein-packed power snack most men love, but a healthier alternative to other leading brands! The original clean protein snack full of homestyle flavor – Oven Roasted Turkey Sticks are made with aromatic seasonings and a touch of Hickory smoke! Made the Vermont way since 1962, ‘Good food doesn’t have to be complicated,’ goes the tagline for this rural smokehouse in Hinesburg, Vermont where finding the perfect balance of time, temperature and humidity churns out perfectly cooked, tender products with real flavor in each bite. A fabulous source of protein on the go – individually wrapped roasted turkey sticks arrive in a convenient 24-pack and are available on Amazon. They’re great for hiking snacks! All products are free from MSG and major allergens. In addition to Oven Roasted Turkey, the sticks come in Hot & Spicy Turkey, Uncured Turkey Pepperoni, BBQ, Maple Smoked Chipotle, Uncured Peppercorn Pork & more!
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BIBLIOGRAPHY
“Talking About ‘Toxic Masculinity’” by Randy Flood, The Men’s Resource Center of West Michigan, published online April 16, 2019
“Eight benefits of crying: Why it’s good to shed a few tears” Medical News Today, posted online October 7, 2017
“The insect repellents: A silent environmental chemical toxicant to the health” by Dijendra Nath Roy, Ritobrata Goswami & Ayantika Pal, National Library of Medicine, published online January 19, 2017
“THE HISTORY OF TEQUILA’S CULTURAL SIGNIFICANCE IN MEXICO” Hermosa Tequila© published online at hermosatequila.com (2018)
